The Dark Tower - movie review

The Dark Tower

Plot: The last Gunslinger, Roland Deschain, has been locked in an eternal battle with Walter O'Dim, also known as the Man in Black, determined to prevent him from toppling the Dark Tower, which holds the universe together. With the fate of the worlds at stake, good and evil will collide in the ultimate battle as only Roland can defend the Tower from the Man in Black.
Cast: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor
Director: Nikolaj Arcel
Certificate: 12A (moderate threat, violence, horror)
Runtime: 1hr 35 mins
Release Date: Friday 18th August 2017

It's times like these when I feel bad for Stephen King. Being one of the most prolific authors of our generation, it was inevitable that, at some point in time, every single one of his books will be transformed into a live action adaptation, be it a film or a television series. Just in the past couple of years alone his novel of Cell has been adapted into a film with John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson and in a few weeks there will be the release of the highly anticipated IT. As for TV, The Mist has just finished its first season and last year we were treated to the excellent 11.22.63. Safe to say that Mr. King is a busy man however, the laws of logic dictate that with all of those adaptations, not all of them can be as flawless as the books. The Dark Tower falls into that category. Having not read the books, I wasn't sure what to expect and after leaving the film, I'm still just as clueless.

After over a 100 attempts, he finally caught the bullets.

To be fair to The Dark Tower and all of those involved, this isn't a terrible film. Most of the elements and filmmaking are of a competent nature and I'm sure that, in the process, there was the layout and groundwork of good, possibly great, epic film that could start a potential new franchise. Unfortunately, the edit that has been strung together is so rushed that everything gradually falls apart until we're left with nothing but meaningless rubble and dust. For a film that is obviously packed with deep lore and mythology that aims to set up future installments to tell this grand tale, a ninety five minute runtime is the definition of too short. The film breezes through all exposition and any explanation to the point where you are given zero information and left to guess everything. It's like putting together a puzzle whilst blindfolded. Going into the film, I was hoping to learn and discover about this world that King has created. I hoped the film would explain the purpose of The Dark Tower itself, how it was created, the reason for the rivalry between Elba's Gunslinger and McConaughey's Man In Black, why the Man in Black wants to destroy the Tower and most important of all, HOW THIS ALL EXISTS IN THE FIRST PLACE! We get none of that. In fact, we arguably get less than none of that because, upon leaving The Dark Tower, I was more confused than before. Having seen the film a week ago (at the time of posting), if someone were to ask me to explain the plot, I'd struggle. Thanks to what I can only assume is the god forsaken sloppy edit, I haven't got the foggiest idea what this film is about. To put my experience with The Dark Tower into some perspective, imagine the Harry Potter franchise but instead of starting with Philosopher's Stone and allowing for us to be introduced and welcomed to Hogwarts, we are thrown into the world with Prisoner Of Azkaban and left to string it all together by ourselves. I'm not necessarily asking for one huge scene dedicated to explaining everything about these worlds as the screenwriters spoon-feed the audience but with a world this complex and detailed, you can't rely on assuming your audience have read the books and instantly know all of the ins and outs. Like I've said, it wouldn't surprise me that there is a two and a half hour cut of this film that sets the world up, explains the intricacies and flows like someone made this film with care rather than to meet a deadline. Considering it was produced by Sony, the idea of meeting a deadline being a priority over a well made film doesn't surprise me.

The BT tower has had a bit of an upgrade.

FACT: Dr. Hotchkiss, Jake's psychiatrist, has a picture in his office of the Overlook Hotel, from The Shining (1980), another film based on a Stephen King novel.

There are a few positives to The Dark Tower though. Unsurprisingly, Idris Elba is one of the saving graces with his character of Roland, the last gunslinger. Who are the gunslingers? Damned if I know. The film tells us jack squat. His performance on the other hand is much more fortuitous. Elba does a great job on depicting the level of intensity that the Gunslinger exudes. His skills with a gun are impressive and, as weird as this sounds, it was always entertaining to see the various ways in which he can load his gun. Elba also nails some of the film's very few comedic scenes as he experiences the hustle and bustle of New York City. Sadly, he's the only actor who is trying to make something of their character. Matthew McConaughey, who very rarely gives a dull performance, seems like he's sleeping through his role as The Man in Black. Aside from the film not giving us an ounce of information as to who he is or why he wants complete carnage, McConaughey isn't trying to make his character anything more than an evil magic dude. The Man in Black is yet another generic sinister villain with yet another generic and sinister end of the world plan. However, despite these two headlining names, their characters aren't exactly at the forefront of this film. Instead, our main protagonist is Jake, a young boy whose nightmares about another world existing parallel to ours, turns out to be visions. Tom Taylor plays our would-be hero and whilst he isn't awful in the role, not once did I think that he had the strength, charisma or talent to be the star of what might have been the start of a franchise. Taylor gives a performance that is solely middle of the ground for the entire runtime and the chemistry he shares with Elba only works because Elba is doing the heavy lifting while Taylor comes along for the ride. When things actually get going with the film and we reach the final act, I didn't necessarily find myself hating it but gradually succumbing to the boredom and accepting my fate that I will never get the answers that we so desperately needed.

Someone abuses the faster reloading perk on Call Of Duty.

Perhaps if The Dark Tower took the time to introduce us to this world and characters then this review would be slightly more positive. Alas, because the audience have been treated as if we know the story already, The Dark Tower results in one confusing, boring and mind-numbing mess that is only redeemed by a solid performance by Elba, interesting and imaginative fantasy creations that have only been fuelled by King's prowess and some well shot and watchable action sequences that briefly take your mind off the lack of story.

My Verdict: 4.5/10

What did you think of The Dark Tower? What Stephen King adaptation would you like to see next, be it new or remake? Sound off in the comments below. 

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