Game Of Thrones: Season 7 - TV review

Game Of Thrones: Season 7

Plot: After a summer lasting almost ten years, the words of House Stark have finally become reality once again: winter is here.
Cast: Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington
Number Of Episodes: 7
Channel: Sky Atlantic (UK)/HBO (US)
Certificate: 18 (very strong language, strong bloody violence)
Air Date: Monday 17th July 2017 - Monday 28th August 2017

WARNING: This review will contain SPOILERS for all of the previous seasons of Game Of Thrones as well as season 7.

Winter has come and so have I because, over the summer, Game Of Thrones made a triumphant return to our television screens for its seventh and penultimate season. There is no denying that Game Of Thrones is a global phenomenon and one of the best shows to ever feature on planet Earth. It has simply taken the world by storm ever since it premiered back in 2011 with Sean Bean at the helm. Now, six years later, Sean Bean's head is stuck on a pole somewhere in King's Landing, Daenerys Targaryen now has a fully fledged army at her side along with fire-breathing dragons and little Arya Stark has grown up to be the most lethal badass in all of Westeros. How times have changed. Well, one thing stays the same and that's that incest is still rife and just as uncomfortable to watch. This review will work a little differently. If you've read my reviews in the past, you'd know that I'll break down the film/series into a few sections. For this however, seeing how Game Of Thrones is incredibly detailed and each and every episode is monumentally packed with key moments, each paragraph will be summarising individual episodes. There's only seven, unlike the usual ten, and don't panic, I'm only going to look over the vital moments of the episodes. There's not going to be any evaluation of Ed Sheeran's performance here so if that's what you're looking for, sorry to disappoint.

Who do all of the thrones in Westeros look so uncomfortable? Is it too much to ask for pillows?

It's safe to say that Season 6 left us all craving for more and bowed out for the year in tremendous fashion. Cersei exacted her revenge on pretty much everyone by giving the Great Sept of Baelor an explosive facelift and becoming Queen of Westeros after her son, Tommen, took a tumble out of a very high window, Arya committed the most amazing act of vengeance by disguising herself to kill Walder Frey, Bran (and us too) discovered a secret about Jon Snow's lineage and Daenerys finally got on a boat to get shit started. To say that we were eagerly anticipating the shows return is an understatement. Season 7 started with, not necessarily a bang, but more like a controlled explosion. 'Dragonstone' felt more like a setup episode preparing us for the carnage that was to come. It resolved some questions that we were left with after the previous season and then teased us for future episodes. Seeing Arya right off the bat kill a room full of Frey's and their supporters in memory of those who died in the infamous Red Wedding brought a huge psychopathic smile to my face. This was Maisie Williams' strongest season to date because, after her multiple journeys and learning to become no one, we've now finally reached the destination her character has been leading towards for six years. Seeing The Hound reappear with the Brotherhood Without Banners was a great pleasure because Rory McCann is one of those actors who gives his all. My only nitpick was that we don't get to see much of him until he shows back up to become a member of the Game Of Thrones Suicide Squad. On the other side of the world, Cersei is reigning with an iron fist (sorry Jamie) and yet again, Lena Headey gives another wonderfully despicable performance as Queen Bitch. As for the end of the episode, we see Daenerys and company land at Dragonstone culminating in Dany asking "Shall we begin?". Oh yes we shall Dany. On the whole, the episode was a tad slow in comparison to the others in the season but reflecting back, it was necessary.

Someone's in need of hand cream.

'Stormborn' was where things began to hit boiling point and the wait throughout episode one proved to be worth it. It was in this episode that the writers were nailing their balls to the wall and going for it whether we like it or not. Fortunately, I liked it a lot. One of the benefits about the show now surpassing the books, the showrunners no longer have to obey the rules of George R. R. Martin and if they want to stage a large scale battle, then Gosh Darnit, they'll make a gigantic battle scene. This was ever apparent as we reached the conclusion of episode two as Euron Greyjoy and his fleet ambushed a strand of Daenerys' army containing Theon, Yara and the Dornish Sand Snakes. First off, can we just give some major praise to Pilou Asbæk for his performance as Euron Greyjoy? Euron has catapulted to one of my favourite characters in Game Of Thrones history for his sheer and utter madness. Watching him tease Theon over attempting to kill his sister was horrific but because Asbæk does such a good job in the role, I could watch an entire season dedicated to him. The actual battle itself was another fantastic sequence that will go in the history books of Game Of Thrones moments. I would put it on par with the Battle at Blackwater Bay in terms of scale and execution. As for the rest of the episode, it was another corker of a time spent in Westeros. The deliberations between Dany, Tyrion and her other advisors was gripping as it became clear that Dany was becoming a bit too much like her ancestors. Over at Winterfell, we were one step closer to seeing a Dany and Jon Snow union because it's revealed that when he's not shovelling human waste, Samwell Tarly has sent word to Jon that Dragonglass (a material vital to stopping the White Walkers) can be found at Dragonstone therefore, a Dany and Jon meet-up was inevitable. The scenes in which Sansa and Jon are discussing the logistics of this decision is a true testament to how great the acting talents from Sophie Turner and Kit Harington are. The two share great chemistry when united as a family but ever better when they are butting heads. In summary, 'Stormborn' was another fantastic episode that had all the expected Game Of Thrones thrills. Big plot developments. Teasing what is to come and to wrap it all up, an awesome naval battle. So far, so good.

When the bar offers cheap drinks...

It's as we reach the third episode that events kick into high gear. It begins with Jon coming face to face with Dany, a moment that fans have been dreaming of since the opening episode. The scene was magnificent as we watch the back and forth between these two rulers. Jon is explaining his situation that he needs to mine for Dragonglass and hopefully, recruit Dany and her army for his cause. On the opposite side of the fence, Dany is acting fairly stubborn towards Jon and solely asking him to bend the knee in return. This confrontation lived up to the hype but it was Jon's reaction to seeing dragons that stole the show. Back over into King's Landing, Cersei is still on her revenge train by exacting her vengeance upon Ellaria as she returns the favour from what she did to Cersei's daughter. This was one of the only scenes in Game Of Thrones history that I have actually agreed with Cersei's actions. Considering this was her daughter, you would fight tooth and nail against anyone that hurts her, let alone murder. The resulting scene with Jaime was uncomfortable as always (as watching incest usually is) but it's key for Jaime to express some development. It was here that I began to think that Jaime would come to his senses and ditch the bitch. The reunion between Sansa and Bran was sweet... until Bran turned full emo, explained himself to be the Three-Eyed Raven and explain that Sansa looked beautiful as he was being raped by Ramsay Bolton. Gotta love a killjoy. Sadly, the episode does not end on a happy note as we lose Olenna Tyrell to a Lannister ambush. However, the Queen of Sass does leave us on a high note because she delivers one final sucker punch to Jamie revealing that it was her that killed Joffrey. I have to say, whilst it's sad to see her go, I cannot think of a better way for Lady Olenna to kick the bucket. She literally epitomizes the DGAF attitude and we shall love her for it always. As for negatives, and this is applicable for the whole season too, events feel a little rushed. One of the graces about Game Of Thrones was that it wasn't afraid to take its time and moved at a reasonable pace. One thing that became apparent from this episode onwards was that they desperately needed certain characters to be in specific places and couldn't waste episodes getting them there. To resolve this, I would like to introduce you to the Westeros Teleporter (patent pending). Obviously this doesn't exist but it does bring light to how Jon, Davos and their band of merry men were able to travel across Westeros in the blink of an eye whereas it took GENDRY THREE AND HALF YEARS TO ROW ACROSS A BLOODY RIVER! I understand that they have gone beyond the point of setup now and their main focus is on the delivery but, from my point of view, the pace for the entire season did come across like someone rushing to complete homework because they faffed about at the beginning.

Duck. Duck. DRAGON.

FACT: The Dothraki can be seen wearing bits and pieces of Lannister armour from their victory at the Tumbleton. One soldier is seen with a lannister commander's pauldron, others are seen with arm braces, and some with decorative lion brooches.

'The Spoils Of War' might just rank up there as one of my favourite episodes of Game Of Thrones. Jaw, meet floor. I'm not overstating myself when I say that I was not prepared for the extremity of this episode and how it checked all the boxes on how to be a perfect Game Of Thrones episode. Fantastic performances? Check. A great look into character relationships? Check. Some startling and/or heartwarming revelations? You betcha. Dragons scorching the bodies of Lannister soldiers alive and reigning hellfire onto them all? Fuck. Yes. No one can look at this episode and deny that this show is the greatest looking television series ever made. Nearly every shot looks as if it belongs on an IMAX screen but thankfully, we are getting it gifted to us in our own homes. Clearly, I am talking about what is being called 'The Loot Train Attack'. In no uncertain terms, Dany, her dragons and the Dothraki proved themselves to be more than formidable foes and whooped a portion of the Lannister army in the process. This entire sequence and attack was packed to the brim with emotion, violence and grit making it one of the most conflicting Game Of Thrones experiences. It should come as no surprise that I want Dany to triumph but in the process, I also like Jaime (despite him being an incestuous attempted child murderer) and of course, who doesn't love Bronn? So imagine my conflict as Bronn prepares to shoot down Drogon but also not wanting Bronn to die as Drogon retaliates. Yet again, the Game Of Thrones writers know how to take your emotions on a wild rollercoaster like no other show can do. This is the mark of a show that will stand the test of time. I can't accurately depict the unadulterated joy of finally seeing Drogon in action, lighting up Lannister soldiers like they're a BBQ on the 4th of July, but if I were to, just imagine a evil mastermind giving a cliched maniacal laugh and you'll probably get the picture. As for the rest of the episode, it flowed along quite nicely. Arya and Sansa had a sweet reunion and Arya sparring with Brienne of Tarth was a delight to see. However, we come full circle going back to Dany's attack because it is mind blowing to witness. I expect some major gongs to be won in the VFX and stunt team departments when television awards season rolls around.

Badass.

After that calamitous orgy of destruction, things were certain to hit the brakes slightly. There is a budget to meet after all. Episode five of this season of Game Of Thrones was a much more reserved and quietly paced episode that still had its fair share of twists and turns. Most impressive of all was the manner in which events were set up and teased for the following episode. Of course, I am talking about Game Of Thrones' very own Suicide Squad. Each and every character in this group is totally engrossing to watch individually but when combined together, it results in a team-up of dreams. Just to witness Jon Snow sharing the screen with Jorah Mormont (Lord Of the Friendzone) who shares the screen with Tormund who also shares the screen with The Hound is a stroke of genius. And yes, I am completely behind a Tormund and Hound spinoff series. I'd watch the two of those on their own cooking show. Once again though, in order for these characters to meet and group together in the space of one episode, we rediscover the Westeros Teleporter. Obviously, for the service of the story and need to get characters in specific places, the writers have definitely implemented some cheat codes for fast travel. It wouldn't bother so much if the idea of distance and elongated journeys hadn't been so prevalent in earlier seasons. On the upside, 'Eastwatch' has a number of fantastic moments that stand out as some of the seasons best. Jon coming face to face with Drogon was arguably the greatest (if slightly blatant) piece of foreshadowing but it was Dany's reaction that began to hint towards a possible connection, more than just the familial sense. Her actions towards Randall and Dickon (😂😂) were fairly extreme leading to Tyrion notably displaying some feelings of confliction. Peter Dinklage, at this rate, is a bona fide reliability when it comes to his Game Of Thrones performance. In the space of seven years, Dinklage has never given one flat note. Similar to Jon encountering Drogon, foreshadowing was a large part to play over in Winterfell as Arya and Littlefinger become involved in a game of cat and mouse with both thinking that they're the predator. Overall 'Eastwatch' was the necessary breath of air that we needed after the previous episode. It dealt with the after effects of Dany's attack and then teasing the greater threat in the north. Truth be told, as the episode closed, I was teetering on my seat hoping for a few extra minutes. Thankfully, my prayers were answered when the next episode came along.

So that's it huh? We some kind of suicide squad?

Since the opening frame of the very first episode back in 2011, everything has been waiting for this very moment. This episode, 'Beyond The Wall', finally proved to us all what the army of the dead was capable of and, in the grand scheme of things, how silly the battle for the Iron Throne actually is. Watching the interaction between the GOT Suicide Squad was entertaining in its own right. That could have been the whole episode and I wouldn't have any complaints. However, the longer these interactions go on for, the greater the tension becomes because, as Game Of Thrones fans know, peace and tranquillity can never last forever. So, when we encounter the stray group of White Walkers and Jon and co. capture one in order to prove to Cersei of their existence, we knew, despite our inner selves begging to deny it, shit was eventually going to hit the fan and splatter all over them in a messy hail of faeces. What then happened, was sheer brilliance in the form of directing and writing. In a swift turn of events, we went from watching a Game Of Thrones style of The Magnificent Seven to 127 Hours. The ambush from the White Walkers proved that they are a force to be reckoned with and not just a disposable army. The staging of this group being surrounded on a sole iceberg by a frosty lake is intensity sealed in a bottle. I did become a tad worried that my interest would begin to wane but thankfully, my worries were put to one side because the writers implemented enough creative ideas. Ranging from a ceremonial burial for Thoros, to The Hound messing everything up for them by getting cheeky with his skimming skills. Here's a tip; DON'T TRY AND PISS OFF THE DEAD WITH A ROCK. IT WON'T END WELL. The ensuing chaos as swarms of undead attack our not-so merry gang was reminiscent of the moment during The Battle of the Bastards when Jon found himself trapped in amongst hordes of bodies. The claustrophobia and intensity was rife throughout resulting in myself being incredibly unsure as to who would make it out alive. Little did we know that Dany would swoop down with her dragons and send the undead back to whence they came. This reveal was incredible to witness but it was a little signposted earlier on in the episode. What wasn't as signposted was The Night King winning gold in the Javelin and spearing Viserion killing him instantly. To see how much of a major blow this dealt to Dany was heartbreaking but that sadness will be incomparable when she will eventually discover that the Night King rises it from the dead as his own personal weapon of mass destruction. Safe to say that the finale had that in spades.

Run. There's nothing you can do. You've lost. You cannot win against a zombie dragon!

In the past few years, the Game Of Thrones season finale have been one of the highlights of my year. And it is with a joyful heart that I can reveal that the finale doesn't disappoint in any way, shape or form. Leading off from when the previous episode ended, our rag tag group of heroes are heading towards the Red Keep in order to meet with Cersei and all of their other foes to provide indisputable proof of the existence of White Walkers. Simply the build up to this legendary scene was enough to give me tingles but when everyone arrives and these gigantic characters are finally sharing the screen together, it is instant television gold and contains some of the best dialogue written in not just Game Of Thrones history, but television history. From witnessing Cersei continuing to be her bullish self despite the fact that she came FACE TO FACE WITH A ZOMBIE, to Tyrion standing toe to toe with a number of people that can have him killed with a snap of their fingers, the whole confrontation was an experience to behold. Of course, we could see through Cersei's bullshit explanations and manipulative façade but it still didn't detract from the gut punch as Cersei revealed to Jamie that she only told the others what they wanted to hear. What was even more crushing was witnessing the fall out between the two star crossed siblings. Thanks to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau giving one of the best performances in his series history, we are left helpless to watch Jamie's world crumble around him. As nice as it was to see him finally rebel against Cersei, you can't help but feel sorry for the guy. On the other hand, I have never been more satisfied to see a throat slit in all of human history as to when Littlefinger finally gets his comeuppance. Seeing Sansa go completely against our expectations and figuratively bitch slap Littlefinger across his smug little face as the Stark children unite to be finally rid of this slimy little toad had me jumping with glee and cheering them on. THIS is the true mark of a world class show. As always, the show must end in tremendous fashion and the last twenty minutes fulfill that and then some. We finally become privy to the Jon and Dany relationship and, as seems to be the norm in the world of Westeros, incest is the answer. Now, as much as it was entertaining to wonder how fan fiction writers were reacting to these two finally getting busy, it was very off-putting to hear Bran explain how the two are related as we watch an aunt and nephew making whoopee. But then there was the final scene. A scene that is both magnificent to watch but infuriating as it comes to a close due to the realisation setting in that there will now be a two year wait until we see more. Yes, The Wall has done the unthinkable and collapsed due to the Night King using Viserion as his own personal ice/flamethrower. Instant nerd boner. Need I say more?

Would anyone like tea or coffee? Some biscuits perhaps?

If I were to find one negative about this season, and I am nitpicking, the rushed nature of some episodes and characters zipping across lands in the blink of an eye was fairly jarring. That being said, Game Of Thrones has still not lost a touch and continues to hit home runs each and every episode. This season has given us some landmark moments that will be remembered for years to come. The Loot Train Attack. The Game Of Thrones inspired Suicide Squad. The conflict of interest about incest. Game Of Thrones: Season 7 was nothing short of masterful. And so begins this final wait as we edge closer towards the end. Sad times indeed.

RIP to Lady Olenna, Good Viserion, possibly Beric and Tormund and Thoros. As for Littlefinger, I'm so glad you're dead.

My Verdict: 9.5/10

What did you think of Game Of Thrones: Season 7? Who would you like to see sit on the Iron Throne? Sound off in the comments below.

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