Fifty Shades Of Black - movie review



Fifty Shades Of Black

Plot: An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.
Cast: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Fred Willard
Director: Michael Tiddes
Rating: 15
Runtime: 1hr 32 mins
Release Date: Friday 11th March 2016


Fifty Shades Of Grey was undoubtedly a worldwide phenomenon. It most certainly was not a good film in the slightest but it's popularity was tantamount. So, a parody or spoof of this was to be expected. But who would helm this parody? I mean, it has the potential to rip apart the source material leaving comedic destruction in its wake. Would Zucker and Abrahams return to their chaotic roots? Nope. Instead, we have Marlon Wayans doing another spoof along the lines of A Haunted House and its sequel. After watching Fifty Shades Of Black, I'm sure that this is likely to be my shortest review to date.




Marlon Wayans is a very good actor. One of my favourite aspects about him is that he's shown range. He was haunting and fantastic in Requiem For A Dream and made me cry laughing as Shorty in Scary Movie. But recently, his comedic chops have never been utilised to full effect. Whilst I did mildly enjoyed A Haunted House, the sequel bored me to tears and I found that Wayans had developed a very unfunny schtick. In this film however, for the first five minutes or so, I found myself chuckling at his performance. I wasn't full on laughing but I found a fair amount of humour as we see Wayans' interpretation of how Christian Grey came to power. Apart from that sequence of events, he never made me laugh once. The jokes he used consisted of swearing constantly and crude sex jokes. These have the ability to work if they are clever. If you are just screaming obscenities and having ludicrous sex, how does that showcase your comedic talent? In place of Dakota Johnson, we have Kali Hawk who's voice was so annoying and off-putting, it gave me a slight migraine. This movie caused me physical pain. If that isn't an indication as to how tragic and awful this film was, then I don't know what is. The annoyance from Hawk may have been intentional but then I'm confused as to why she included it in the first place. Nothing about her performance made me laugh or even crack a smile. She is wooden, has no likeability and zero comedic talent. I may be no comedic expert but I'm pretty sure that for a parody to be successful, your lead actress needs to be funny. Alas, she is not. Now, I am not one to dispel any actor or actresses dreams and hopes, but if Hawk doesn't prove me otherwise that she deserves big roles, she just needs to quietly disappear. There are other supporting characters that have the smallest impact on the film but legitimate actors such as Fred Willard bring a tear to my ear to see them reduced to this atrocity. 



Whilst it is a parody and relies on the story it is spoofing, Fifty Shades Of Black could have incorporated some nice little unique twists. But it doesn't. And for that reason, I feel no need to talk about the story in any more detail. It doesn't attempt anything so you're better off to just watch Fifty Shades Of Grey. Yeah, I never thought that I would be recommending you to watch Fifty Shades Of Grey instead of its spoof.




One of Fifty Shades Of Black's biggest sins was how it was not funny. Like, at all. I did chuckle in the opening five minutes but it ended there. Nothing made me smile and I just felt bored and wanting to stop watching. It was a short film with a runtime of about an hour and a half but it felt like two hours. There were jokes made but no effort went into it. And if you've seen any parody film ever, then each joke has been repeated many a time before. The lack of humour is also shown in the title. Ooh look, they've changed the name of the title slightly because the main character happens to be black. Isn't that funny? Aren't we creative? No. It isn't. There is no inventiveness on show and the tired formula made me wish for parodies that are funny. The pop culture references also just get too much. I don't mind the odd few that slightly worked such as The Weeknd being called The Weekday and jokes against Donald Trump, but it spoofed other films that no one had asked to be spoofed. Whiplash was a good film but still isn't that recognisable. So when you're making jokes that are specific to that film, it's probably going to fall on deaf ears. But a monumental mistake made by this film was reminding me of Fifty Shades Of Grey. The film came out a year ago so if this spoof was released nearer the time that the original source material came out, it would have been more poignant and effective. However, I had been fortunate enough to remove Fifty Shades Of Grey from my memory. That was until Fifty Shades Of Black reminded me as it seemed to copy every scene shot for shot. It had one job. One job! All it had to do was to make fun of a film that was absolute rubbish and it failed in doing so.



Spoofs nowadays seem to be a dying genre and Fifty Shades Of Black does nothing to revive it any further. Wayans brought humour for a brief moment but then it becomes an unfunny and painful mess. The overall result is that Fifty Shades Of Grey was unintentionally far more hilarious than this, a film that sole intention is to be funny.

My Verdict: 2/10

What did you think of Fifty Shades Of Black? What film do you think, if spoofed, could make for a great comedy? Post your comments below.

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